I should win a Nobel Prize in Economics. Perhaps the most significant breakthrough since Keynes, I have uncovered the single biggest drain to our national GDP. So subtle, but yet so damaging. That’s right, I’m talking about the “Lady with the Change Purse.”
We all know this sweet, kind, highly organized character. She’s in front of us at every check out line, from coffee shop to supermarket. Her tab pops up on the register: $8.67. At such a time, I would hand over a $10 bill, take back a buck, throw the change in the tip jar, and scurry out. But no, the Lady with the Change Purse scours her wallet for a Five and three Singles, and then mercilessly, she hunts for the exact combination of nickels, dimes, quarters and pennies until she has produced exactly 67 cents. Do the math: all of those lines, all of those change purses, all of those minutes, everywhere, everyday. Huuuuge, I tell you.
And not to be selfish, but today that Lady with the Change Purse hit me directly. But for her pernicious OCD, I would have devoured this week’s luscious combination or shrimp, lemon, and cream two minutes sooner. Time is money, as they say, and now time is pasta. She must be stopped (or given a Good Humor Man change maker). The economy (and Sunday Pasta) depend on it.
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